Boobie says: (上午 3:38:28)hi sweetie…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:38:42)wow, is that a trom…trom….something?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:38:53)means you win a game or competition?

Boobie says: (上午 3:38:59)hold on few secons and i’ll be back

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:39:11)go ahead:)

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:42:46)i like you

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:42:58)i’m starting to love Italy now

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:43:07)one day i’ll be there

Boobie says: (上午 3:43:37)really!

Boobie says: (上午 3:43:51)i will wait for you because i like you so much too…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:43:59)^^

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:44:09)thank you, you’re sweet

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:44:11)and really nice

Boobie says: (上午 3:45:29)god…it’s my lucky day… a woman like you…likes me!

Boobie says: (上午 3:46:01)i wanna know more about you  mayo…

Boobie says: (上午 3:46:41)don’t  break my heart..are you really single?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:47:10)yes

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:47:28)but…I just wanna make friend with you….now

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:48:17)a very close friend, though we’re used to different languages, cultures, different point of views….

Boobie says: (上午 3:48:39)i love that…

Boobie says: (上午 3:48:49)i need friend like you..

Boobie says: (上午 3:48:58)sometime i feel alone…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:49:12)sure

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:49:14)me too

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:49:24)though i pray

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:49:33)makes feel beloved

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:49:41)makes me feel beloved

Boobie says: (上午 3:50:03)you need love…as me.

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:50:31)that’s true

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:50:37)and i wanna love

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:50:40)love the world

Boobie says: (上午 3:50:42)we are not so different eve if we live in opposite places in the world

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:51:02)I don’t wanna be cool….cold….as i used to be

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:51:09)yes

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:51:16)so i like you

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:51:33)there might be a lot of differences

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:51:43)but we know love, and beauty

Boobie says: (上午 3:52:45)I agree about all….

Boobie says: (上午 3:53:06)you believe in God…you are christian right?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:53:25)almost

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:53:32)i think you’re like my god

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:53:48)I don’t know if my god exist or not. I’ll never know

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:54:10)but reading what he prepared for me, i know he loves me

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:54:16)he’ll never refuse me

Boobie says: (上午 3:54:24)if you are happy to see a baby laughin…

Boobie says: (上午 3:54:41)God exist!

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:54:42)he take all of me, including of my strenth and weakness

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:54:53)I believe my God is always here

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:55:41)I don’t care if he exists or not. maybe the word exist is not good or precise for me

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:55:51)but you’re like my God

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:56:15)I can hardly tell who you are, if you’re real?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:56:18)but you warm me

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:56:25)like God does

Boobie says: (上午 3:57:09)…i have no words to say…you make me feel very happy inside

Boobie says: (上午 3:57:31)I thank God to met you!

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:57:33)me too

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:57:45)later when i’m in bed

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:57:59)I’ll thank God because of you

Boobie says: (上午 3:58:56)I will do the same…what time is it overthere?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:59:00)and that’s really interesting….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:59:29)I feel lonely…and I still can’t take the ex down, completely

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 3:59:50)I don’t know how to say….I mean I still think of him

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:00:09)and sometimes we talk, through msn or phone.

Boobie says: (上午 4:00:44)why?what’s happened whit your ex?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:01:12)I still miss him, but I feel everytime we talk, I’m tortured and lost so huge part of my heart

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:01:24)maybe he did nothing wrond

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:01:26)wrong

Boobie says: (上午 4:01:47)ok..let me understand..i want to help you…

Boobie says: (上午 4:02:04)you broke or he brokes?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:02:08)I did

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:02:33)I know it’s not that true, but for me, he doesn’t know how to love

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:02:42)he doesn’t know love that much

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:03:25)I love him, and he loves me too

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:03:40)but we can’t be together.

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:03:52)we harm each other, always

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:04:18)I’m not saying he means to be bad.

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:04:27)He just don’t know how to be nice

Boobie says: (上午 4:04:50)i undestand…he loves you in wrong way…and you love him but you would you be loved in different way

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:05:17)And after we broke up, I learn something about God, from my family

Boobie says: (上午 4:05:41)did you speak about that with him?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:06:00)and I heard, that God loves weak people. He came to save us because we’re not perfect

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:06:26)that’s the very first moment I can face the truth that I’m not perfect.

Boobie says: (上午 4:06:47)nobody is perfect honey…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:06:54)I think I did. But he has his point of views. Not wrong, but cruel for me

Boobie says: (上午 4:06:58)God loves us for this reason

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:07:24)I live in a world that everyone told me human must be tough

Boobie says: (上午 4:07:33)listen honey…

Boobie says: (上午 4:08:01)don’t forget you’re human…Pain comes as happiness

Boobie says: (上午 4:08:40)pain is food for soul,this is your chance to improve yourself….you must be strong and go on…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:08:47)that’s the very truth that i can ever hear

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:09:16)yes, with my God’s companion

Boobie says: (上午 4:09:55)If you like to pray,do it, but don’t forget, you are still alive…and if you are alive you must fight…

Boobie says: (上午 4:10:19)tell me,what you want at this moment?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:10:33)I’m not that sure…..

Boobie says: (上午 4:10:39)come back to him?

Boobie says: (上午 4:10:47)forget him?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:11:04)I tried both and other, try to ignore

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:11:28)but I think either forget or ignore is not the right choice for me now

Boobie says: (上午 4:11:37)ignore? this is not the right way….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:11:46)I need to know, if he’s really the right one for me

Boobie says: (上午 4:12:01)what you feel inside?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:12:30)I like him, and love hime, so many ways and reasons.

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:12:59)The only thing I can’t endure, is his attitude.

Boobie says: (上午 4:13:06)may you explain to me what’s wrong between you and him?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:14:41)When he try to solve the problems between us

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:15:08)He’s logically correct.

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:15:17)But that’s not what I need….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:15:24)I need companion….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:15:36)I need to be understood….

Boobie says: (上午 4:16:02)and he can’t understand you?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:16:49)you bit me….

Boobie says: (上午 4:18:00)what you mean=?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:18:21)I don’t know how to answer you….

Boobie says: (上午 4:18:30)ah ok…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:18:43)I THINK he understood….but I can’t feel it

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:19:10)I think it’s my fault….why I can’t feel it?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:19:15)I know he loves me….

Boobie says: (上午 4:19:27)faults? noooooooooo

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:19:28)Why can’t i feel it…………??!!

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:19:44)I don’t mean it…..

Boobie says: (上午 4:20:11)there’s no faults….listen honey….he’s  not bad,but maybe you need more…

Boobie says: (上午 4:20:31)i mean he’s lovely but he’s not enough for you…that’s it

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:20:46)Am i greedy?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:21:15)But…no one’s enough for me….!

Boobie says: (上午 4:21:45)not true…one day you will find your soulmate

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:21:50)And that’s why I love my God, and believe in him, and follow him.

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:22:07)He’s the only one that I know will never turn me down

Boobie says: (上午 4:22:18)fist of all you must believe in you!

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:22:24)never lie to me, never impatient to me

Boobie says: (上午 4:23:06)what about you..you lied with him?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:23:09)Everytime I met a soulmate (not many, though), I make them away from me, eventually

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:23:33)I don’t think so….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:23:55)But I have so much wanna told him, but I can’t

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:24:08)He’s really cold as a listener

Boobie says: (上午 4:24:31)i understand you…my ex was the same…

Boobie says: (上午 4:25:01)it looks like they can’t understand the words you say..

Boobie says: (上午 4:25:54)you need someone can understand words…and feelings

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:26:11)but for him, I think I’m not good or nice either.

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:26:28)So I don’t wanna blame him….but i’m hurt….

Boobie says: (上午 4:26:28)i’m sure you are nice

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:26:43)no, I was not. to him

Boobie says: (上午 4:26:54)tell me why

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:27:25)I got mad very quickly, I lost myself and got crazy

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:27:42)I left him so many times

Boobie says: (上午 4:27:43)just because you was not happy

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:27:56)and those all broke his heart

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:28:21)Even if I was not happy, still, I shouldn’t have done that

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:28:29)I shouldn’t….

Boobie says: (上午 4:28:34)i must be honest with you mayo…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:28:36)and I didn’t want to…..

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:28:45)yes, please

Boobie says: (上午 4:29:56)listen to me…you just feel alone right now…

Boobie says: (上午 4:30:23)u think you are wrong just because you need companion…

Boobie says: (上午 4:30:39)give to you time to understand…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:31:00)I need to make clear

Boobie says: (上午 4:31:08)that’s right

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:31:26)I’m sure I miss him, not just because I feel lonely

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:31:44)I always feel lonely, and thank God, he’s with me

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:32:10)And within about a month or so, i’m not that lonely

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:32:20)I may be still alone, most of the time.

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:32:28)But not that lonely

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:33:06)And I know if I stop everything that could make me think of him

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:33:19)maybe someday I’ll really forget him

Boobie says: (上午 4:33:26)believe me….try to understand what’s the real problem…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:33:30)maybe that’ll be not long

Boobie says: (上午 4:33:53)be patient with yourself…you’re strong…i’m sure about it

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:33:56)but I still think….he’s unique and still means a lot to me

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:34:11)I have no idea what is the real problem

Boobie says: (上午 4:34:29)you will…please believe me

Boobie says: (上午 4:34:54)be patient with youself…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:35:04)I don’t get it….

Boobie says: (上午 4:35:15)day by day you will find the way..

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:35:16)why be patient?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:35:38)you mean these all shouldn’t be in a hurry?

Boobie says: (上午 4:35:50)because if you are patient you will see the truth with your own eyes…

Boobie says: (上午 4:36:25)that’s what i mean…i spent 2 years of my life in this way…now i’m happy…really happy

Boobie says: (上午 4:37:06)and she’s happy too…she have a new man and she’s pregnant

Boobie says: (上午 4:37:30)and i still lookin for love…real love…

Boobie says: (上午 4:38:09)i can’t forget her…but i think was not wrong to leave her

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:38:40)within the 2 years, have you ever doubted that you shouldn’t miss her?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:38:47)or lose her, anyway.

Boobie says: (上午 4:38:51)sure…

Boobie says: (上午 4:39:08)it’s normal i spent 13 years of my life with her…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:39:12)I try to express something beyond my English vocabulary….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:39:48)my ex ex, i was with him for 5-6 years

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:39:56)but I know he’s not for me.

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:40:02)and i’m not for him

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:40:17)so this time, it’s really tough for me
Boobie says: (上午 4:41:52)ok…now you are not sure if he’s 『mr.right』 or not…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:42:23)I’m not that sure….

Boobie says: (上午 4:42:24)but you know that you was always nervous with him or something like this…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:43:04)you’re absolutely right…

Boobie says: (上午 4:43:17)just because you and him don’t speak the same language

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:43:42)and he told me, very clearly, he can’t show love because I always left him

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:43:57)that’s true.

Boobie says: (上午 4:44:09)you always left him because you needed a reaction

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:44:14)but I think the language shouldn’t mean all

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:44:45)you know me….

Boobie says: (上午 4:44:49)not true honey…i mean 『feeligs language』

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:44:54)but I know that hurt him….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:45:03)and I don’t want to be cruel

Boobie says: (上午 4:45:14)ok…so stop to hurt him..please let him be happy

Boobie says: (上午 4:45:42)and one day…i think soo as you can imagin…you wil be happy too

Boobie says: (上午 4:45:52)sorry..soon

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:46:23)it’s ok, never mind, I know what you’re talking about

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:46:43)I know….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:46:58)I still don’t know the solution and the result….

Boobie says: (上午 4:46:59)believe me…one day you will…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:47:12)but I’ll remember what you told me

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:47:16)be patient

Boobie says: (上午 4:47:39)a friend of mine said to me the same 2 years ago…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:47:44)but what is be patient with myself?

Boobie says: (上午 4:47:49)noe it’ss my turn…

Boobie says: (上午 4:47:51)now

Boobie says: (上午 4:47:58)it’s my turn

Boobie says: (上午 4:48:07)BE STRONG AND GO ON

Boobie says: (上午 4:48:27)one day you will 『see the light』

Boobie says: (上午 4:49:00)learn what possible from this situation

Boobie says: (上午 4:49:39)let you be honest…don’t forget your mistakes…but go on!
mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:50:04)learn what possible..?

Boobie says: (上午 4:50:07)just live day by day…and you will find your soulmate

Boobie says: (上午 4:50:42)i mean…you must learn everything is possible to learn…

Boobie says: (上午 4:51:20)learn from pain…tears…thought…memories…

Boobie says: (上午 4:51:32)and don’t forget the lesson…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:52:09)thank you…

Boobie says: (上午 4:52:25)don’t say thenk u..i’m your friend

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:52:28)I’m exhausted…

Boobie says: (上午 4:52:45)thank..sorry i fell a little tired

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:52:51)friends should say thank you more often:)

Boobie says: (上午 4:53:14)i told you from the beginning…i ilke you!

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:53:30)to say thank you is a good way to express gratitude

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:53:37)^^

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:53:45)i like you too

Boobie says: (上午 4:53:59)ok…so…thank u too….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:54:04)hope you may feel it

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:54:14)^^

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:54:21)you’re sweet

Boobie says: (上午 4:54:34)ok…before i go…..please…

Boobie says: (上午 4:54:52)touch the monitor…and i will do the same…

Boobie says: (上午 4:54:56)ready?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:55:02)ok

Boobie says: (上午 4:55:28)i’m givin my hand to you…

Boobie says: (上午 4:55:47)as i touch your hand…

Boobie says: (上午 4:55:59)…..

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:56:16)hand-holding right now

Boobie says: (上午 4:56:24)yes!

Boobie says: (上午 4:56:43)it’s a great feeling….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:56:51)it’s true

Boobie says: (上午 4:57:15)i like to honey..and i don’t want see you cry…

Boobie says: (上午 4:57:28)because i love you smile…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:57:31)i’ll be happy

Boobie says: (上午 4:57:40)you will!
mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:57:46) very soon

Boobie says: (上午 4:57:53)it si…

Boobie says: (上午 4:57:55)is

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:57:55)because i’m beloved

Boobie says: (上午 4:58:04)right!
Boobie says: (上午 4:58:24)there’s someone in italy that loves you…

Boobie says: (上午 4:58:30)me!

Boobie says: (上午 4:58:39):$

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:59:04)sorry, I don’t get it

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:59:24)oh

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:59:26)sorry

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:59:34)I read some words wrong

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 4:59:46)^^

Boobie says: (上午 4:59:48)maybe i’m wrong to digit

Boobie says: (上午 4:59:58)sorry..i’m a little nit tired

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:00:13)me too

Boobie says: (上午 5:00:16)bit…as i told you…now i finish to work

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:00:16)that’s wonderful

Boobie says: (上午 5:00:39)i hope to met you tomorrow

Boobie says: (上午 5:00:48)meet

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:00:53)both of us can take a rest after lovely conversation

Boobie says: (上午 5:01:06)it is…now i go home

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:01:23)I hope so, but maybe I’ll spend less time on the net

Boobie says: (上午 5:01:28)and before sleep i will think to you…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:01:29)it’s not good for me

Boobie says: (上午 5:01:59)it’s ok…whenever you need you know that i’m here for you my friend!

Boobie says: (上午 5:02:08)ok?

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:02:11)yes, I know!

Boobie says: (上午 5:02:24)thank you for all….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:02:29)^^

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:02:32)me too

Boobie says: (上午 5:02:34)i gotta go now…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:02:40)I’m going to sleep

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:02:48)it’s 5 am now^^』

Boobie says: (上午 5:02:56)sweetdreams honey…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:03:00)you too

Boobie says: (上午 5:03:09)thanks

Boobie says: (上午 5:03:11)kisses…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:03:20)^^

Boobie says: (上午 5:03:26)and don’t forget…you’re great!

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:03:29)red in face

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:03:34)oh, thank you

Boobie says: (上午 5:03:47)you’re welcome honey…

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:03:53)and you should also keep in mind, you’re really wonderful

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:04:12)thank you, and wish you good days

Boobie says: (上午 5:04:16):$ thanks….

mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:04:29)see u

Boobie says: (上午 5:04:35)bye honey!
mayo（I’ll pray for you） says: (上午 5:04:38)^^

孤單迫使眼淚流了出來

喔 原來我這麼孤單啊

原來一個不被我賦予生命的玩偶也可以撫慰我

於是想著 現在的我需要一隻貓

但 也許我對於那隻可能的貓會懷抱著很多複雜的情感

他可能會在我不在家的時候抓壞我的東西 到處噴尿 我想抱他的時候不讓我抱

於是我不能專注地在我需要他的陪伴及擁抱時 滿懷感激地接受他的懷抱

因為我對他情感太複雜

我想 其實我需要的絕對不是一個被我豢養在身邊的動物

我需要的是一個完美的情人

而過往的總是太多複雜糾葛 讓我現在連這樣的人是存在著的 連夢想的勇氣都散失了

我向主禱告 讓自己更有力量 因為我擁有祂的力量

而我也該認清 那些過去的戀情 都是太多錯誤的糾纏累積

即使我現在灰心 我幾乎無法期望情人能比家人和朋友帶給我更多安慰

還是做夢吧

做個innocents- the dreamers, one of them

而布偶雖然沒有活生生的生命來得溫暖 沒有生命力

卻可以百分之百確定 我不會因布偶而埋怨（幸好我的人生沒什麼鼻子過敏這種蠢事情）

不管是問對方 或是問自己愛對方什麼

總是說不出一個完美精緻的答案

不管說了什麼出口 總覺得那不是最切實的回答

愛 什麼是愛

我總搞不懂什麼是愛

是企求陪伴嗎 那為什麼是現在選擇的這一個

你又愛我什麼

好像聽到什麼答案 都會在心中暗暗覺得 果然還是只有自己最清楚自己是怎樣的

高興 卻又疑惑:我是這樣的嗎 我讓你看到的是這樣的嗎

當兩個靈魂高度相當的人膩/溺在一起

你愛我什麼就變成了

原來我有這些優點我都不知道

但願…

但願我還有許願的能力

我根本不知道我想做什麼，

我更不知道我能做什麼，

媽的為什麼我死不了？！

為什麼那麼難死。

特地跑來士林陪我喝酒，

各喝了一瓶ice（本來要買vodka來調的，不過也太大瓶太貴了吧），

沒想到喝了快一瓶的ice，再抽了三四根black devil之後……

一陣頭暈，趕快跑去廁所，連站都站不穩（差點想坐在地上昏過去算了），

然後馬上就吐了……

好險我剛剛有先衝去廁所~囧rz

然後才想起來，原來今天沒吃什麼，

吐的都是在網咖喝的可樂……囧rz

幹，太瞎了吧！

一瓶ice而已。

結果不得不點一份薯條來吃。好，真的很瞎。

我真希望我的眼睛也真的瞎，或是耳朵聾掉。

幹，我為什麼還不死。

http://w3.mecolor.com.tw/find.html

我的：

【Me原色組合】自覺紫色 + 潛質靛色 + 原生綠色
【雙重型】希望人前完美，連遇到爭執也堅持完美形象的人。
是連吵架都會吵得很優雅的人，非常執著於自己外在表現的完美，雖然不愛與人爭執，但內在的嚴格道德觀讓他對於不公平的事情難以忍受，非得爭出一個道理來。

【雙重型‧Me原色組合色彩本質】

。自 覺 紫 色：優　雅
。潛 質 靛 色：內在判斷
。原 生 綠 色：希　望

【雙重型的外顯行為】
與生俱來的優雅、高貴氣質，從小就受到眾人喜愛。
對人際關係的感覺敏銳，重視人際，希望自己是美麗與智慧的化身。從小渴望受注目、渴望別人的認同，當他們越沒有自信時，這個特質就越明顯。
道德感及自尊心都很強，偶有冷靜、沈穩和理智的特質，做什麼事情都會規劃出完美計畫；若遇到突發狀況也能飛快地在腦中理出頭緒，快速完成。

【雙重型的潛意識】
會為自己設定階段性的目標，勇往直前，善用自己的能力，相信自己能夠達成設定的目標。經驗累積是很重要的。每件事情的遭遇和結果，能夠讓他成長甚至是觀點改變。
很擅長運用過去經驗來處理正在發生的事情，通常都能夠圓滿解決。
非常重視事情合理性，他們深信要解決問題必須找出問題的根源，快速地對症下藥，「擒賊要擒王」是一貫守則，給人做事明快、有魄力的印象。

【雙重型的靈能意識】
對新事物和新目標都能有衝勁、有理想的展開；遇到問題，會努力運用各種方法來解決。一直很有朝氣，給人充滿活力，很有自己生活目標的印象。
是有遠見的開創者，直覺和第六感很強，充滿創造力，時時刻刻都在進步，特別容易在生活中的大事小事當中獲得經驗。
個性獨立，不喜歡依賴，不太相信別人給予的意見，除非得到認知上合理的解釋。 即便和別人討論跟自己息息相關的事，往往也非常冷靜，像在討論不相干的人一樣，但其實不是真的理性，有時是因為他們對自己的過度自負。
很清楚自己所需要的情感，相信人必須愛自己才會懂得愛別人，當他們的感情獲得幸福和滿足，他們會以愉快、開放的心來渡過每一天。

什麼時候才能停止努力前進

什麼時候才能不去理會身旁的人

什麼時候才能不去顧慮所愛的人

什麼時候

才能毅然決然 隨著自己的心意

而死呢

「還有『想死』的念頭的人，就絕對不能死」

這是想要告訴我 我不是真的想死 是想要被注視嗎

我知道啊 所以我選擇站上舞台啊

但還是不夠啊

只要冷靜下來 就知道那個念頭 我以為我已經把他丟棄到遠方了

但他總是可以安靜地待在原地

等我猛然注視到他

那 到底 是什麼時候呢

到底還要多久呢

抽著菸 難以追趕上他們失去風味的速度

這是意料之外的事

演出完 驚覺自己平常拿來打發時間 或藉以發洩的的事

瞬時已經改變

不那麼依賴美食 不那麼眷戀睡床 不那麼困縛在網路世界的虛幻

但 一頓慶功宴 一場壽宴 一夜眷戀溫暖的懷抱

好像讓生活又回到演出之前

但 我想跳舞 我想歌唱 我想讓狀態永遠像是準備演出那樣

蓄勢待發

是不是只要我們用到』永遠』這個詞

就表示我們所希望的其實總是脫離了現實 屈服於自己的惰性呢

才兩天 不要悲觀 往自己想前進的方向去吧

詩意的身體 飽滿的聲音 芳香的rolling tobacco

專屬於我的gentleman caller

請給我更強力的臂膀擁抱我所想要留存的這一切吧